Here at Anger and Stress Management SOS we class anger as a feeling, which indicates to us that something has to change. Anger in a way prompts us to act to rectify a problem and to bring equilibrium back to our experience.

In this sense, anger is rational and has a purpose. However, it may be the case that in truth anger is not required because the situation itself is only perceived as a problem by one individual, and it is their perception of the event that requires change. This is where one’s anger has become dysfunctional and causes problems for oneself and for others too.

When anger is dysfunctional it easily and rapidly escalates. Instead of appearing and then fading away, as functional anger does, one’s speech and behaviour is influenced by it. When reactions like this occur, anger is set in motion and it increases exponentially. This is when anger becomes an emotion and this is what we call aggression.

Depending on the intensity of the emotion and the reactive behaviours which ensue they can be classified at different intensities. To get an idea of the varying degrees of the feeling of anger and aggression we catagories them as follows:

1. Displeased
2. Irritated
3. Frustrated
4. Annoyed
5. Disgusted
6. Furious
7. Rage
8. Hatred

You may be being aggressive even if you believe you are doing the right thing

Numbers 1 to 6 can be thought of as both functional and dysfunctional anger. For example, if you experience being displeased because your child has not done their chores when they said they had done then that is functional, as long as your words and actions do not become aggressive.

However, if you are displeased because your child’s bedroom is not tidy all of the time then anger in this example is dysfunctional and aggressive because one’s words and behaviour will act to reinforce the unrealistic rule, even if you believe you are doing the right thing.

7 and 8 can be thought of as dysfunctional, because at this level of reactivity one is out of control and incredibly aggressive.

Our goal at Anger and Stress Management SOS is for anger to be increasingly functional and nonaggressive which allows the qualities of harmony, joy and connection to appear in oneself and in one’s relationships too. For further information please go to the Programs page of contact us today to book a free 20 minutes consultation call to discuss your needs.